The Surprise Factor
by CarsmeCarlislexEsme
Summary: It's Bernadette's 30th Birthday and Howard, with the help of their friends, decides to throw her a surprise party! However, Bernie wont be the only one who's in for a big surprise!


Howard Wolowitz always loved birthdays. He loved the anticipation they caused and the surprises they brought. This weekend was Bernadette's thirtieth birthday, and Howard wanted to surprise his wife with a party from all of her friends. Together, they planned a small surprise party for the evening, with drinks and dancing. Raj was extremely disappointed that Howard had turned down his extravagant _Sex in the City_ themed party. He told him it was too extreme and that all he wanted was a small gathering with Bernie's closest friends. Howard divided out positions, Leonard and Penny were in charge of food, Amy would bake the cake, he and Raj would take care of decorations, and Sheldon…well, and Sheldon's job was to show up and pretend to be happy.

As they day approached, Howard made sure to delete the email from her boss, giving her the day off. It also just so happened that Bernadette was swamped with work and would be gone for a majority of the day.

The day of the party arrived, Howard woke up early and attempted to make his wife breakfast in bed, key word attempted. Cleaning up his pancake slop, was not the best birthday wish for his wife. After cleaning, Bernadette was going to be late for work, but she didn't care, she was still miffed that they did not give her the day off. The moment Bernie left the apartment, Howard called Raj.

"Hey, she's gone! Ready to start decorating?" Howard asked with excitement.

"Dude, we've got a problem," Raj began, "Amy made the cake explode in the oven!"

"What? How? Where are you? I'm coming!" Howard yelled as he dashed out the door.

Bernadette was angry that she had so much work to do on her birthday, she would much rather have spent it eating dinner with Howard or going out for drinks with the girls, but no, she was stuck in her lab for the rest of the day. During lunch she became bored with what she was eating and trudged back to her office, where she found an unexpected surprise. On Bernadette's desk was a beautiful vase, filled with over two dozen red roses. There was a small card sticking out of the top.

_Bernie-_

_Happy Birthday Beautiful!_

_Sorry about breakfast!_

_I love you to space and back!_

_(See what I did there)_

_-Howie_

_P.S. its 30 roses for your 30__th_

Although Bernadette was busy at work, she was happy to see that her husband was trying to make the best of a rotten situation. Eventually, this only aggravated Bernadette even more, all she wanted to do now was be with him. She decided to talk to her boss after she finished the last bit of research. Bernie, after completing her project got up and knocked on his door.

"Come in," she entered, "Dr. Rostenkowski-Wolowitz? What are you doing here?"

"Working?" she replied with confusion.

"No, I emailed you earlier this week and gave you the day off. It's your birthday!" he smiled

Bernadette left thoroughly annoyed with her boss and drove home. Great. The only person I wanted to spend my birthday with is gone. She looked down at the home phone, which was beeping with a message.

"Hey Birthday Girl," her husband's voice rang, "I'll probably be back before you get home, but if I don't just be ready…" the message clicked off.

Bernadette's excitement got the best of her, Howard was taking her out tonight. He didn't know she was going to be home early. Howie was always full of surprises and was the king of keeping her on her toes. Tonight she would have the biggest surprise for him.

It was 5:32 the bus had made him two minutes late, Sheldon sighed. No one had been able to get ahold of him to tell him the party was postponed. He walked upstairs to his friends' apartment and jiggled the door handle, it came right open. Ah, simple minded Howard, you are so ignorant leaving your door unlocked, I could be the boogey man, Sheldon thought. As he entered the living room and saw rose petals thrown across the tables with thick white candles lit between them. That's odd, Sheldon pondered, this was not a tpical party theme, especially not a birthday, oh well, Raj must have persuaded Howard. Sheldon wandered around the room looking for his friends. Of course, they were all late. Then he heard the water running in the bathroom. Dear Lord, Howard, you haven't showered yet, Sheldon sighed, and he was going to ruin the surprise.

"I'm in here," a sweet voice sang out, it was Bernadette.

What was she doing here? Sheldon began to panic! He had to get her out of the house, she would ruin all of the plans. If a hero was needed at any time, this was that time, and that hero was Sheldon.

"You aren't coming in, such a shame," Bernadette said in a teasing voice.

Well, I was invited in, Sheldon thought, she must realize I'm here. He made his way into the bathroom and opened the door. A thick wall of shower steam hit his face, almost bling him. When Sheldon overcame his temporary blindness, his eyes were perfectly locked on Bernadette. Her back was turned to him, hair up in a clip, and completely naked! Why would she invite him in if she wasn't decent!

"Oh Howie, shut the door and come join me," she began to turn around, "I'm getting cold! She turned completely around, he eyes fell upon the tall figure in the door frame that was clearly not her husband. Bernadette couldn't make out who the stranger was, but she knew full well that he was not invited and screamed.

Meanwhile, the friends were carrying boxes of party supplies up the stairs. Amy had her hands taped above her shoulders, with large gauze bandages wrapped around them.

"Amy," Penny began, trying to sooth the poor girl, "It could have happened to anyone! It's an honest mistake."

"For anyone who tried to bake a cake with gun powder instead of baking powder," Leonard mumbled at his girlfriend's pitiful attempt to comfort their friend.

"Has anyone tried to call Sheldon?" Amy asked, "Because due to recent events…I cannot."

"Guys, please" Raj whined, "We have a beautifully extravagant party to plan!"

"I just want to put a couple decorations up before she gets home, that's all…we can start…" Howard was cut off by his wife's blood curdling scream.

"BERNIE!" Howard dropped the box he was carrying and made a mad dash up the stairs to his apartment, with his friends following close behind him. He flung open the door to only reveal a terrified Sheldon running his direction and out the door, screaming louder than Bernadette. Only seconds later came a dripping wet Bernadette, clad only in Howard's silk bathrobe, swinging the toilet paper stand.

"I'm going to kill you, you perverted perpetrator! My dad's a cop, I've got a gun and I know how to shoot it!" she wailed angrily, still unable to see, due to her lack of glasses.

"Bernie, Bernie, Bernie," Howard grabbed his wife by the shoulders to stop her from blindly beating their friend.

"Oh Howie," Bernadette sighed in relief, dropping the medal rod and falling into his safe arms, "I was so scared, I was in the shower and I heard the door…"

She was cut off by an angry Sheldon, "Howard, your wife tried to seduce me upon my arrival!"

"Sheldon? Is that you?" Bernadette squinted trying to make out his figure, as Howard place her glasses on her face.

"Yes," he stated, "Howard you need to learn to control your woman. She invited me into the bathroom knowing full well that she was completely nude!"

"I thought you were Howard," Bernadette yelled, "How was I supposed to know you'd let yourself in to my house and then into my bathroom."

"Still, I don't know why you would invite Howard to partake in shower coitus, it's a small shower, even for the two of you," Sheldon stated.

"Sheldon!" Amy yelled, "Not now!"

"Oh my Goodness," Bernadette jumped back looking at Amy' bandaged hands, "What happened to you?"

"Baking accident…" She sighed.

"Wait…why are you all here?" Bernadette asked looking at all of her friends, still holding their giant boxes."

"It's…your surprise party…" Howard sighed, "I was trying to surprise you, but you got here before we did…and well, I guess Sheldon took care of that," He shrugged, "But, it's kind of ruined now."

"Howard Wolowitz, this is the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. Whether you realize it or not, it's not the party that counts, it's the thought! I didn't expect anything like this for my birthday, I just wanted to spend it with you!' Bernadette smiled.

"Really?" he smirked.

Bernadette nodded in affirmation.

"So all you wanted for your birthday was to have kinky shower sex with me?" He wiggled his eye brows and gave her a wink. Bernie gave him a coy smile, with a bit of a blush, as if to say yes, "Well, you heard the woman, get out, shoo!"

"Whoa Whoa Whoa, how about w all get dressed and go out for a drink first! I want to spend my time with the birthday girl," Penny smiled throwing a gift bag at her, "Oh and when you get back, you can wear this tonight." Bernadette peered into the bag with a shocked expression, as more blush rose on her cheeks.

"Penny," Howard began, realizing the contents of the gift, "you are a true friend."

That night the friends celebrated with dinner, drinks, and dancing. It was simple and fun just like Howard wanted. That night he realized that birthdays aren't about shock value, they're about the people you spend it with. He had given his wife the most unforgettably strange birthday! That night, just as she promised, Bernadette and Howard got into the shower, but were both a bit woozy from the wine and decided to take it to the bedroom, giving Bernie the opportunity to wear her new gift from Penny. Before they began their love making, she looked down at her husband.

"I've still got a surprise for you!" she winked.

"The shower sex wasn't the surprise?" he asked.

"Nope," she leaned down and whispered in his ear, "I'm ready, let's make a baby." Before he could say anything in protest, she cut him off with a kiss, "Shh, don't question, just accept."

Howard Wolowitz was shocked…utterly dumbfounded…pfft…friends…who was he kidding, birthdays were all about shock value!


End file.
